I attended a "chemo" class with my daughter the other day.  My husband says to me that he didn't need to attend it because he had already been through one before. Well, being that this is all new to me I must have thought, come on now, there must be something he doesn't know! Why wouldn't he need to attend? This is my daughter, his step child too right? I don't know what I was thinking or what to expect but after watching a video about how chemotherapy will affect my child, how it affects anyone for that matter, I guess I don't ever NEED to watch another video or attend another class myself. It isn't necessarily common knowledge but it isn't information you forget either. I believe I handled it pretty well. The video was made some time ago and I think I dealt with it easier (at this point) because not one of the things spoken of has affected my Amanda yet.


 As a matter of fact, nothing has affected her yet. Not much has affected any of us yet. Katherine, my 13 year old, has not cried, doesn't ask many questions BUT, I think her time is coming to let it all go and I have to find the strength to get her through it! I cry on and off all the time still. I have plenty of faith in God but if he has a plan to take my baby girl from me, it is going to happen and ultimately I need to be ready. Everything happens for a reason! Yea, I'm all big and bad right now, sitting comfortable and not a tear in my eye but all it takes is someone at work to ask how Amanda is and I will lose it!


I cannot believe the amount of support we have been shown and given at this point. I have had good friends my entire life, some I still speak to from Elementary school but this is different. I have people coming out of nowhere to show their support. Just when I think this world is full of mean people and bullies. We have people all over the world praying for my family, praying hard for Amandas recovery.


In a few days I will join Amanda for her first chemo treatment and I am about as ready for it as I will ever be. Honestly, I dread the drive. Four hours gives me all sorts of time to over think and re think and think again. I've never been good with too much idle time to myself lol. I know that she is ready to get this rolling too. She has a little corner by her couch that's filled with all her chemo goodies. A warm blanket, water bottles, candies to suck on and a journal to track whatever she wants to say. She's got her warm gloves and hats and scarves all ready to go and she knows what she can and can't touch and eat etc. (Let's see how much she listens teeheehee)


Until next time folks...thank you!!