I am so proud of my daughter. She has been so strong! She's still her cranky and bossy self and still determined to NOT let cancer take anything from her. With that said, after the chemo class we discussed the various "issues" she may experience. The dry mouth, being sensitive to cold and the conversation I did NOT want to have...her hair loss. It didn't go as bad as I initially thought. It was Katherine who made me realize that for 10 years or better, Amanda has had the same length of hair. Katherine does not remember her sister with any other look. This is where it appears that it got a bit harder for Katherine to deal with. My girls are both tough as nails. They are iron marshmallows of sorts. They are tough on the outside, won't cry, won't take any crap from anyone but behind closed doors they have feelings and they will deal with them on their own if need be. But, the talk of the hair loss began to show some signs in Katherine that her sister having cancer was "REAL." It was the nurse at the cancer center ( I try to never give cancer a capital. I don't think it deserves the attention!) that made us realize that with Amandas hair being 4 feet long, if she loses 10 strands, it will look like she has lost 1/2 her head. I had to put on one of my many hats and be mom, the tough mom, the realist. My daughter has cancer, she hasn't suddenly become unaware of what real is. Sometimes we all need to be kept in check, this is one of those times.


Amanda keeps talking about how she isn't going to let cancer win. She's going to kick its ass. She has tons of friends and fans encouraging her to Go. Fight. Win. It's when I had to step in and tell her to stay one step ahead of this stupid cancer! DON"T LET IT TAKE YOUR HAIR! Stay a step ahead and get an adorable hair cut. One that she has designed. Not the one the cancer designs!


When you are feeling too weak to get off the couch and its beginning to depress you, call a friend and take a brief walk. Mouth is dry? Suck on those candies. Loss of appetite, drink the hell out of some Ensure and mix it with some fat ass ice cream! I don't care what cancer "says" it is going to do to my baby girl but we are NOT going to stand by and let it say ANYTHING and win!  Stay one step ahead!!


All of that leads me to the fact that Amanda has decided to get her hair cut. She missed her appt. last week so is scheduled for today. It may sound petty but I know that I am going to cry a river when I first see my little girl without all her hair. She wore this hair all the was through the military.  When she joined the Army, left home 2 weeks after graduation, she swore she would never let anything take her hair, including the Army! The same now, cancer will not win, cancer will NOT take her hair! Stay one step ahead!